Have you guys heard there is a blizzard out there?! No?! It’s all everyone in a four state zone can post about. And it sucks. My pasty white legs wanna see some sun! I haven’t left the house in 54 hours and when I do tomorrow I may have forgotten how to drive. But, it’s the perfect storm because its happening at the perfect time for us. I kept saying to my husband all weekend, “How bad would this suck if we hated each other?” Because if the storm happened a few months ago, it wouldn’t have been a party.
It was a typical Saturday morning in November and my husband I were “talking” about what we wanted our weekend plans to be. And like most married couples, we weren’t on the same page. My five-year old son walked in and asked us to stop fighting. Um, sure?!!? We weren’t even yelling. I was confused by his comment. I knew Carl and I had been annoyed with each other, but didn’t realize the kids thought that was “fighting.”
Every marriage has it’s storms and seasons. Carl had been stressed working at a job he wasn’t happy at. I was stressed out because my work production wasn’t where I wanted it to be. We have two kids and they are work. We hadn’t gone on a date in forever. I’m sharing this because so many of us compare relationships to other people’s and set a standard for what we think is normal. Her husband is home every night. His wife works out and volunteers all the time. They get to go on all the great vacations. And it doesn’t help. No marriage is perfect, and the ones that project that on social media are the ones who are in the most trouble.
I think every husband and wife look at their spouse at different times in their marriage and think, “I have to sleep with him/her the rest of my life! I can’t even be in the same room as them without my blood pressure rising!” We ended up talking and hashing things out and didn’t go to the therapist that I had thought of calling. (Not that that’s not a good idea – the happiest married couples I know go or have gone to therapy.) We realized that we weren’t on the same team. We hadn’t been rooting for each other. We were in a weird place that didn’t feel good to either of us. And because we know we are the right people for each other, we worked through it. He got a job he loves now, and I just had my biggest paycheck ever. Coincidence?!?! Team Gebhardt for the win!
What storm are you going through in your relationships right now? What are you committed to? What tools are you using to get to the other side? Because the other side is more stable, fun, and dare I say sexier than the storm. We had an amazing weekend cooped up indoors with the fire going, board games, wine, playing camping with a tent in the living room, and painting our bedroom (without fighting!!!) The kids actually told us on Saturday that it was “the best day of our lives.” And I don’t think the people and parents we were in November would have delivered a blizzard party like we did this weekend. The couple we are wouldn’t have had the weekend we did with the type of partners we were being a few short months ago.
I kept thinking about how perfect this storm was for us and thankful that my husband and kids are so awesome. How long it would have been if we weren’t getting along. I’m sure there will be more storms in our future, but the forecast looks sunny. (And this blizzard better buzz off soon!)